Bulls lose, or something
The Bulls didn't play last night. Simply didn't happen. No. Nope. Non. Nein.
Some people may tell you that they were blown out by the Celtics, losing by roughly 98 points in a lifeless (inter)national TV debacle. Those people are lying. The Bulls didn't play.
Instead, they had the night off. Brad Miller led the bench unit on a night fishing trip to Lewiston, Idaho, where Taj Gibson was extremely happy to catch a 6oz perch, and Lindsey Hunter sat around dispensing sage wisdom about things that happened during the mid 50's. The starters, meanwhile, all went out for a light supper together, then went tapdancing together, and then went home to bed. (Not together.)
That's all they did. No basketball was played by anyone. None at all. Not a sausage.
I'm being stupid and unfunny, obviously, but only because it's better to pretend that they didn't have a game on. They did play, and they were awful. It was especially harrowing for me, since I woke up especially to watch the game, only for the team to roll over and die limply and never really threaten. I thought those days were over. Oh well.
Kevin Garnett Is Back (And Still Douchey)
There can be no doubt. Kevin Garnett is a lock for the Basketball Hall of Fame. But he’s also a lock for another hall– the one for the douchiest players to ever play NBA basketball.
In Friday night’s game against the Bulls, Garnett showed off a lot of his different douche tools. He ran his mouth most of the night, but that’s a given. After he picked up foul number 2 in the 1st quarter, Garnett was flustered as he headed to the bench. Along the way he barked and barked at the ref, even until the ball was almost inbounded to resume play again. All that for a second foul in the 1st quarter of the third game of the year? Relax, man.